Saturday, the day to rest and relax.

Well for most normal people that is how it works out but not around here. Oh, no, we couldn't have that.

Not by a long shot.

Here Saturday means stuff to do that was impossible to do throughout the week. You know stuff like dishes, laundry, running the vacuum cleaner, working on the vehicles, remodeling the house, tending the garden (it is done for the year now though), mowing the grass, raking fallen leaves, pouring concrete (which is also finished for the year), etc. etc. etc. You know the normal little things....

Then there are the phone calls.

Hello, FREE 24\7 tech support here, how may I waste my life solving the same problem that you have experienced at least twice a week ever since you first got that computer.

How do I open my E-mail??

Ummmm, have you tried clicking on that little icon that you have clicked on everytime you have opened your e-mail for the last 3 years?

WOW that did it you're such a computer wizz, I don't know how you remember all of this stuff.

I got an error message when my computer started up this morning, can you fix that so it doesn't happen again?

Can I cut your hands off so you cannot touch the computer anymore? (I think to myself) What was the error message?
I don't know what it said.
When did you get the error?
When I turned it on, I already told you that!
OK, when EXACTLY did you get the error?
Ohhhh, sorry, it was probably around 9:37 this morning.
(pulling clumps of hair out by the roots now) No, I meant when exactly DURING THE BOOT UP PROCESS did you get the error?
I don't know, I turned it on and went to get a cup of coffee and when I came back it was locked up on an error.
Call me back later after you reboot it and tell me what the error is, then MAYBE we can figure out what is wrong.

My computer seems to be alot slower than it used to be. What's wrong with it?

Have you rebooted your computer to see if that helps? Sometimes you just need to reboot....
Well I'll be, it seems to be fine now. Wonder why that is??
Maybe because you have 18 different chat programs running in the background along with system commander, system restorer, system watcher, system fixer, system solver, 3 different versions of AOL, 19 backdoor trojans, 1385 spywares, 34 email virii, and every piece of junk that is automaticly downloaded when you click here to smack the monkey and win 20 dollars!

Enough whining for now.....